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Friday, March 16, 2007

The Weakness of Robert's Wallet 

I tried. I really did. I called BT and had them arrange to have a line reconnected. I spent ages on the phone talking to a man with a lovely Geordie accent arranging to have someone come along and tell me which of my BT sockets was the main one.

Then I called NTL to cancel. I was full of resolve. My resolve deepened for each of the 15 minutes I was on hold waiting to talk to the disconnection department.

"I wouldn't get this with BT," I said to myself, rather smugly.

When I got through to NTL I wasted no time.

"Ah, yes," I said. A Hugh Grant impersonation is always helpful. "I'd like to terminate my account please. I have already arranged to switch to BT."

"Can I ask why you want to leave us?" said the perfectly reasonable girl at the other end of the line. I was expecting a pushy sales person offering my fame and fortune. I was ready for that.

"Er ... well. I haven't had a good history with NTL. I'm not happy about this business with Sky. I mean, the only channel I ever watch is Sky One." Pause. "And your service is rather expensive."

That last is true. I usually pay around £60 a month with them.

"Perhaps I should mention that we're back in negotiations with Sky," she said, reasonably.

"Really?" That won't get anywhere, I thought, but said "yes" in a rather non-committed way.

"And we have some really good offers on at the moment," she continued.

I bet you do.

"We could give you your current package or TV, telephone and broadband for £24."

I doubt that very much, said the inner me.

"Really?" said my traitorous mouth. "That's interesting."

"And that's for life."

"Or until your company changes hands again," I said, trying to regain ground but failing, miserably.

I was lost, of course. Wave a special offer in my face and I am putty. Give me my phone, TV and broadband for nearly 60% off and I'll roll over and have my tummy tickled.

I doubt whether I will get the offer for that little. I doubt it will be for life.

But I still went for it.

What's wrong with me?

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