Strange Thoughts of a Strange Man

Tonight I will be going out after work to see Mamma Mia! so I have dressed up a bit; I’m wearing a proper jacket, black trousers and a black shirt. I thought it worked when I looked in the mirror but, as I left the house, the uneasy thought popped into my head that I looked like a 1970s pimp.

As I took a few steps down the road I began to realise, as well, that the new trousers I bought were just a shade on the wrong side of snug and the “pimp” thought began to well and truly bed in.

The thought was magnified by the “naked” feeling I get whenever I go somewhere without my laptop bag, which I decided to leave behind because I was going out, and then further by someone at the bus-stop giving me a very peculiar look.

As I waited for the bus, that thought ran round my head, “I am dressed like a pimp”, but by then it was too late and I decided to brazen it out, walking brazenly onto the bus and then on to the train.

It was only when I sat down that I realised why the bloke at the bus-stop had given me a funny look.

My flies were undone.

Labels: Clothes, Mistakes

When I was in New York, I tried to buy some trousers. On my previous visit (in 2000) I was impressed by the breadth of sizes they had on offer and how I could buy jeans that fit me almost perfectly. To my dismay, this time, I found that trousers were stocked only within certain ranges. I could buy trousers with the right waist but an inside leg that was just a shade too small. Trousers with that waist size and a larger inside leg were available only online.

So, I gave up on the trousers, muttering that this sort of thing wouldn’t happen in good old Blighty.

Only, it has.

I went to buy some trousers at lunchtime for myself and for David at the huge Marks and Spencer at Marble Arch. I found some for me easy enough but when I looked for some for David I ran into trouble. There were some at the size just below his but nothing bigger. Same thing in jackets.

I did find a discrete notice, easily missed, that said clothing in sizes of a particular range were available by order or online. Who wants to buy clothes online? You wait weeks for them to arrive and then find they don’t fit.

I admit that we are a little on the large side but, given our heights, neither of us are outlandishly huge. This seems rather wrong.

Labels: Clothes, Marks, Size, Spencer, Trousers