Strange Thoughts of a Strange Man

The 2010 Eurovision Song Contest has come and gone. It’s probably a bit late for me to write about it now and I wasn’t going to bother posting this but some letters in this week’s RadioTimes have prompted me to post this after all.
Here I attempt to answer the eternal question: what happened to the UK?
What went wrong?
I should say that I did actually like our song but I am a huge fan of Eighties music and our song definitely had the stamp of the Eighties on it. It would not have sounded out of place as a early Kylie, a Sonia or as a Rick Astley number. If we’d entered it in 1987 we would have won hands down. Unfortunately, this is 2010 and the people of Eurovision-land weren’t impressed.
The Great British public had no choice over the song this year but we did have a choice of singer. Last year we had a selection process lasting weeks; this year we had one evening. Last year we had a song from Andrew Lloyd Webber (but again no choice); this year Pete Waterman. Last year we came fifth; this year we were last out of twenty five.
Although we had a choice of singers, I wasn’t impressed with any of the acts that were presented to us to choose from and I really wondered where they had been found. It seemed that the producers had run outside and grabbed random groups of strangers, regardless of personality or talent. I think there was a girl group pulled together especially for the evening. They didn’t know each other and it showed. The singer chosen, Josh, was agreeable enough but he was the best of a bad lot, unfortunately. We could have done a lot better.
Thirdly, and this cannot be stated in a polite way unfortunately, the backing singers on the night were flat.  
What went right?
I enjoyed the songs a lot more on the CD than on television in either of the semi-finals or the final itself. I guess that just goes to show that everything benefits from a bit of a post-production tweak here and there. I should also say that I enjoyed the winning song from Germany – it was one of my favourites before I saw the show and even if some of the singer’s pronunciation was dodgy to say the least, I think it deserved to win. Lena’s performance only enhanced the song and captured the attention of the camera and the audience.
Incidentally, our selection process usually garners criticism from around Europe. It has been said in the past that we never take the contest seriously because we have people chosen by talent contest rather than using established professional performers. That simply does not hold water now – several other countries selected their performers selected their singers this way this year and, indeed, Lena, the German singer, was chosen through a talent show.
The usual excuse for the UK getting nowhere is that the voting system is biased and that countries will vote for their neighbours and friends. I have seen this trotted out again this year but, really, I don’t think that’s the case now. The recent changes to the voting system seem to have made it a lot fairer and less inclined to bias – again, how could Germany have won if everyone was voting for their bestest fwiends? Of course, there will always be Greece and Cyprus but splitting them up will take something more radical than the Eurovision organisers could devise.
Another reason that Germany won was because they got their song noticed. They picked it and then put it in the charts around Europe where it did very well. Did we do anything similar? I didn’t even hear a mention of our song between the night it was picked and when the Eurovision CD came out.
Germany’s song was also cleverly written with elements from the various countries around the Eurovision zone making themselves known without sounding like a slavish copy. How many violins did we see this year? How many copied Turkey the year after they won? Satellite’s dominant beat hinted at the dominant beats of some of the Eastern entries but lacked the other elements that make them sound so similar.
The rest of the song was a rather upbeat number about the madness of love and was sung joyfully by a girl with a lovely smile. No wonder it did well.
Next Year
We should learn from this year. It is possible for us to do better although I can understand us not wanting to win. These things are expensive to host and we’re already paying another huge event, the 2012 Olympics so perhaps we don’t want to win. National pride, however, demands we do better than last.

Labels: Eurovision

Regular readers will know that my feelings towards Eurovision have gone from hate to disinterest to interest and finally to full-blown fanaticism in the space of a few years.

I have seen it every year since 2003, the year David and I began to see each other, and have nearly all the albums. Last year and this year I actually bought the CDs before the contest so that I would be more engaged on the night.

I was missing the album for 2005 but I recently bought it from someone on eBay. Normally I can listen to these things and find one or two songs that I actually like enough to add to my favourites playlist on my iPod. This year, 2009, contributed quite a few to my favourites playlist as have 2004, 2006, 2007 and 2008. They are still there and still enjoyed.

2005, however, now that I have listened to it, doesn’t seem to have any that I like that much. There are no tracks that catch my ear. There’s lots of bland poppy ballads and tons of clones of 2004’s entry for Turkey (including the year’s UK entry) although Turkey’s 2005 song dares to be different.

I don’t remember 2005 being that bad but it does put me off trying to track down 2003 a bit.

Labels: Eurovision

The Eurovision Song Contest is one of those gay stereotypes that we are all supposed to enjoy along with musical theatre, sex, shopping and more sex. Of course, there are others but this one is one that I have no problem enjoying.

This year I wasn't as enthusiastic as I normally am. I have already commented on our selection process for our entry and that may have reduced my enthusiasm for the competition itself although I think the other events in my life may have contributed to that.

However, with a long drive to Wales for our holiday approaching, last weekend, I bought the CD so that we could listen to it in the car. Unfortunately, we only liked one of the songs out of the 43 on offer and it was the entry from Belgium.

Had we been anywhere near a TV that showed the semi-final and somewhere I could get a decent mobile phone signal, I would have voted. I don't think my one vote would have made a difference however.

I didn't think our song stood out from the rest very well. That's not to say I thought it was the worst or even the joint worst with Germany and Poland. There were other songs that were awful that did better in the final than the final three.

I did manage to see the final on Saturday in the company of David and a German couple. When it came to the scoring, it was amazing how someone in the room was able to predict where the 12 points were to go before they were announced and not because they were going toward a song that was head and shoulders above all the others. No, as usual, votes went to neighbours.

Voting for this sort of thing should not be down to the public. Generally they vote for a nice face or someone they recognise from another show or someone from their home country or a song in a language they all understand.

They certainly do not vote for songs or singers or whatever on merit.

How can the ESC be changed? Goodness knows. The public vote is still needed - the TV companies want the money from the premium rate lines.

Professional jury?

Regional heats?

Two competitions?

Dump it altogether?

I don't know. I would be the the first to admit that there are more important things to worry about but it would be good to sort this out.

Labels: Eurovision

No idea about what? I hear you cry.

Anything, I would answer but in this particular case I am referring to these stupid telephone voting shows: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?, Any Dream Will Do and now I'd Do Anything. They are all shows created by the BBC to showcase revived musicals and to find girls and boys to be the lead roles.

The problem with the shows is that the Great British public decide who stays in the show and who goes. One contestant each week has to be eliminated by telephone vote. The trouble is that the public chooses people they like and not the people that are the best for the job.

A similar system is in place for the British Entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. And a similarly bad choice was made for the UK's song this year.

Of course, the reason television companies like the BBC have shows like this is that they can make a lot of money from the sheer volume of calls. They are not interested in the validity of the selections.

Labels: BBC, Eurovision, Joseph, Maria, Oliver

These are my last thoughts on the Eurovision Song Contest until Making Your Mind Up 2008, if there is such a thing. The Netherlands are threatening to drop out. I can easily see the UK doing the same.

This is not a gripe about the winners. Serbia were clearly popular with all concerned although it was also clear that something is not right with the system. There were songs that were popular with the press and with the audiences of both the final and the semi-final that didn't figure very well at the final count. Surely, they all couldn't have been wrong?

Firstly, we should scrap the Big Four concept. The Big Four are, I believe, the UK, France, Germany and Spain. They cough up a substantial part of the funding for the contest in exchange for guaranteed places in the final. This is wrong, either everyone should pay an equal share or the winner should foot the entire bill. There is also no reason why the Four should get into the final unfairly.

Secondly, there should definitely only be one vote per person. It can be done. Allowing multiple votes per voter is greed on the part of the EBU or whoever it is who gets the money from the premium rate phone calls and texts. Imagine what a mess we'd be in if our governments were elected in such a haphazard manner. Oh, hang on...

Thirdly, we also need to scrap the points system. Yes, it is lovely and quaint to hear the words "United Kingdom, twelve points", but, in a televoting system, it is outmoded and we really need to see countries voted for by absolute numbers. It is not right that 300 votes from one tiny county carries the same clout as 3,000,000 from somewhere bigger.

Various concepts have been bandied around since the semi-finals last Thursday and all have revolved around there being more semi-finals or even separate contests for the original Eurovision countries and the more recent entrants. I thought these were good ideas at first but now I don't think they would work. They would cause even more conflict between the participants and that is not what Eurovision is all about.

We need one contest that is fair. That's all.

That is it, no more comments on the E-word, for another ten months although I may respond to comments.

Labels: EBU, ESC, Eurovision, Eurovision reform, Eurovision scoring

I have become a major Eurovision fan over the last few years. I have even gone to the extent of buying the CD before the contest has aired and now have a really firm idea of which songs are my favourites. I have also placed a couple of online bets!

There are four songs that stick in my head. I find myself humming the entries from Sweden (my favourite), Switzerland and the Ukraine. Although I like the Swiss entry, Vampires are Alive, I don't want it to win. It's clearly jumping on the Buffy-esque bandwagon started by last year's winners, Lordi (who do their act dressed as demons and throw in lots of lyrics about Hell). Both the Swedish and Ukrainian entries are camp and do not take themselves at all seriously, which, to me, is the whole spirit of Eurovision.

I said four, didn't I? I do actually like our entry. Like the Swedes and the Ukraines, it obviously has its tongue in its cheek. Won't win, of course.

We only have a week and a bit to wait to find out who wins this year!

Labels: Eurovision